I am sitting at Holger’s soccer practice. I made a note a week ago to write a blogpost about some recent activities. I have been thinking about the recent losses of people that were present for me during different times in my life: my high school friend, Dan Becker, my college friend, Matt Shaner, and my mom’s friend, Connie Glagola. So, for my own posterity, here is a brief blogpost.
I was invited by Penn State’s College of Health and Human Development to speak to a group of students on issues of community leadership. It felt nice to receive the invitation from my friend Dennis Shea, an educator, researcher, and leader that I respect very much. In considering my role in the context of the day’s sessions, I found myself with a little anxiety over how to best prepare. This scene from The Office came to mind as the cautionary tale.
Of course, the day went well. I arrived early and write down some notes and felt good about the way my fellow panelist, Molly Kunkle, and I contributed to the segment: Organizations at Work for Community Building.
One of the themes I shared with the students was of the need to become comfortable with multiple roles in our lives and how, by symbolically “changing hats” based upon the context we find ourselves in, we can learn to frame our corresponding expectations and behaviors; I shared my own “hats” that I wore that day, including one as a member of the BOD for State College Food Bank, a vendor for organizations as a principal at Valhalla Business Advisors, as well as employer for a small team, not to mention father, husband, and friend.
I love the ancient fable about the scorpion and frog; It offers insights into the role of an inherent nature in a person. I was exposed to this story by Don Gaetano around 2010 and I think about its implications regularly. I have reflected on my own nature and I believe they include a deep interest in other people, a drive to develop new business relationships, and a love of good stories. I think part of my success in business is a consequence of feeling personally energized by the act of hearing other people’s stories and, where I can help, finding ways to create value; Sometimes this value creation also results in business opportunity for me and sometimes it doesn’t. At this stage of my life, I am motivated by maximizing the number of stories I can hear (and be a part of) more than I am motivated by maximizing a measure of financial wealth. This motivation led me recently to a very interesting set of meetings, which will continue this week…
The short (and confidential) version of this story is, based upon a cup of coffee with a friend, I heard about an organization that was acquired in Pennsylvania by a fellow in New Jersey that, apparently, subsequently began suffering from some commercial difficulties. I was interested in learning more, so I conducted some research, organized some friends and advisors from business school, and “cold called” the fellow I came to know as “the buyer” of this firm. To my surprise, he returned my voice mail, and we have had numerous engagements. He is a very engaging, thoughtful, and interesting person! I am hopeful that, somewhere as a result of these interactions, he will get some value and his businesses will be better; At a minimum, I end up with a good story and new friend (and the discovery of a one degree separation from Marc Lasry, a man I have followed for years with admiration and curiosity.)
I shared with the students at Penn State that there are at least three good reasons to engage in their communities based upon WIIFM (“What’s In It For Me”): network, signal effect, and the opportunity to have opportunities to build skills and abilities that may be unavailable at the “regular” job. I also alluded to Jonathan Haidt’s insights in “The Happiness Hypothesis” about the effects of altruism, connectedness, and community on personal satisfaction and happiness and the Stoic philosophy of “memento mori” — the contemplation of mortality. This ancient wisdom serves as a powerful reminder for young professionals to live intentionally. We should all embrace life’s fleeting nature, especially as we navigate the complexities of modern living and the inevitable approach of life’s end.
Memento mori. And RIP, Dan, Matt, and Connie.
