July 4, 2020. What a strange year thus far.
I checked my Facebook and Twitter feeds yesterday morning. There were numerous references to Frederick Douglass’ speech, “What to the slave is the 4th of July.” I don’t remember thinking about the issues raised within this speech as a younger man. How is that possible?
My professional experience and training have been primarily in business. So, my thinking and reading about psychology is amateurish and generally informed by my life experiences. My imagination leads me to envision that we each have a rather complicated set of plumbing within our mind, which has a design that supports an ability to be creative and “connect dots” in novel ways, but also limits us by cognitive biases (KT) and our own experiences (David Hume). Around that plumbing, I imagine a veil, like the sheet around the Wizard of Oz, which we use, at times, to obscure our “true selves” from others (i.e. insecurities). I wonder if we sometimes use that same veil to distract ourselves from the world as it actually is, preferring to imagine the world as we wish for it to be. I wonder if we habitually, and unconsciously, lie to ourselves this way.
I wonder… is my personal sense of worth and accomplishment diminished if my struggle was “less” as a result of privilege? Has my sense of harried urgency around day-to-day life, business, family, fitness, and education, all been a rationale, a form of “noise,” for paying inadequate attention to the plight of our brothers and sisters? Do I use “noise” in my mind to enable focus on less complicated, more convenient, issues and ideas?
As I was driving home from work Wednesday, I listened to a podcast where Professor Adam Alter shared thoughts about his research on regrets as the end of life nears. Other big ideas he delved into included the extent to which creativity is overestimated as a determinant of success, as well as the extent to which feeling “stuck” is a common experience in life. I found some of his prescriptions helpful, including having a bias towards saying, “yes” and having a healthy approach to daily persistence. I am grateful there are folks in the world seeking to identify and improve tools by which we can find satisfaction in our (meaningful) lives.
Meditation
I started experimenting with such a tool over past months: the act of meditation. I have found that, by investing ten minutes with Anna Greenberg on the Peloton application, I am finding myself feeling less harried, more focused, and, anecdotally, more satisfied (personally) and effective (professionally.) This week I noticed a Tweet from Ray Dalio on the subject. Yea, I agree with Ray.
Anna Greenberg’s meditation leads to a visualization of full engagement in an important task for the day. I have found my priorities for certain days result in visualizing an important business meeting but, oftentimes, it involves investigating an area of curiosity, reading a certain book, or helping Holger with his daily reading lesson.
I practice Transcendental Meditation and believe that it has enhanced my open-mindedness, higher-level perspective, equanimity, and creativity. It helps slow things down so that I can act calmly even in the face of chaos, just like a ninja in a street fight. #principleoftheday pic.twitter.com/7SALcEX9km
— Ray Dalio (@RayDalio) January 21, 2020
Lemonade
One area of curiosity from the past two weeks was a review of the Lemonade S1. Last weekend, I spent a few hours reading the filing, which presents an idea for an insurer where advantage is pursued through distribution (i.e. no brokers) and technology (i.e. building the platform for the operation, including AI bots, such that the operation and marketing of the products is more integrated than is typically observed in competing insurers.) I struggled with the valuation of $1.6 billion; Ultimately, the stock popped when markets opened to a valuation of $3.8 billion. It will be interesting to see if the team at Lemonade is able to gain a foothold in the insurance industry, with its focus on renters/condo policies, and grow into additional lines (and capture the inferred Future Growth Opportunities embedded in the $3.8 billion value.) Lemonade will be an interesting firm to watch; I imagine Clay Christensen watching down from heaven with a curious eye on this business…
Kafka
One idea for a reading that occurred to me was Frank Kafka’s Metamorphosis. I read it this past week and will admit some difficulty sleeping as a result. The imagery, tone, and theme were all disturbing to me. The story centers around a traveling salesman, Gregor Samsa, who wakes up one morning transformed into a vermin. Gregor’s experience, as he spends his final months reminiscing on his life, contemplating the future, and coping with his circumstances, as his family also copes in parallel, culminates with Gregor’s death, to the great relief of his family, who came to view him as a burden. I am not sure what, specifically, bothered me so much about the story; Maybe it is a connection I feel to Gregor and certain forms of myopia; Maybe it is a natural fear of becoming a burden on those we love; Perhaps there is a seed of nihilism. Either way, I don’t believe I will reread this book. I would like to hear other opinions of it, though.
Time with my son
One of my favorite activities of late is helping Holger with his reading. As his kindergarten year wrapped, I felt a little concern about signals we were getting when Holger tried to read. He seemed to identify an initial letter and then guess repeatedly at the word in question until either guessing correctly or being informed of the correct word; He always seemed stressed and rushed. He did not seem to be learning a construct for learning to actually read. So, I tracked down the book Andreas and I learned from Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons by Engelmann and Seigfried. We are, at the present time, 61 days into the 100 days of lessons, and Holger’s progress has been substantial. I love the increased confidence he demonstrates as he works through words. I did not selfishly engage in the reading lessons with him; However, I have enjoyed the experience of engaging with him in these lessons as much as any other experience I can remember.
As we all continue to persist in efforts to manage through, and cope with, this historic time, I am hopeful that we can each find more frequent moments of stillness for contemplation and focus. I imagine that it is in these moments where we can better understand, and develop tools to improve upon, the idiosyncratic and undesirable nature of our own mental plumbing, whether they be habitually succumbing to ubiquitous distractions or cognitive biases.
Steven Covey wrote about “beginning with the end in mind.” I have also heard that, if you want to understand the values of an organization, look at its budget; If you want to understand the values of a man, look at the way he spends time. I imagine if Adam Alter interviewed me during my final days, I would be more satisfied with my life if Camilla and Holger were able to, habitually, find enough quiet time in their lives so they could develop a more accurate world view at a younger age. Maybe they can experience a less jarring start to their 42nd Independence Day than their dad did.
