Birthdays, COVID-19, Memorial Day, coaching, positive psychology, and antifragility, in no particular order.

May 23, 2020 was my 42nd birthday. As far as birthdays go, it was rather nice. The weather was pleasant in State College, and I enjoyed a nice Peloton ride after helping Becca with some gardening. In the morning, I read Michael Lewis’ Coach. Later in the early evening, I watched an NYU Faculty Insights by Professor Jonathan Haidt on the topic of positive psychology in coping with the coronavirus pandemic. It was a comfortable day.

I was describing Professor Haidt’s talk to Becca last night. His talk, which I linked at the bottom of this page, addresses three ideas germane to coping: antifragility, reframing, and sources of happiness. Becca asked me about the specific definition of positive psychology. This morning I looked for an answer on the Internet. Positive Psychology UK indicates that positive psychology is the “scientific study of optimal human functioning [that] aims to discover and promote the factors that allow individuals and communities to thrive.” In some more detail:

The science of positive psychology operates on three different levels – the subjective level, the individual level and the group level.

  1. The subjective level includes the study of positive experiences such as joy, well-being, satisfaction, contentment, happiness, optimism and flow. This level is about feeling good, rather than doing good or being a good person.
  2. At the next level, the aim is to identify the constituents of the ‘good life’ and the personal qualities that are necessary for being a ‘good person’, through studying human strengths and virtues, future-mindedness, capacity for love, courage, perseverance, forgiveness, originality, wisdom, interpersonal skills and giftedness.
  3. Finally, at the group or community level, the emphasis is on civic virtues, social responsibilities, nurturance, altruism, civility, tolerance, work ethics, positive institutions and other factors that contribute to the development of citizenship and communities.

Found at: http://positivepsychology.org.uk/what-is-positive-psychology/

Haidt offers thoughts on the impacts of the coronavirus on society as potentially beneficial. He asserts that, like individuals, society is “antifragile”; Rather than causing irreparable damage, there are instances where stress results in improved strength and resiliency. He also shares ideas about happiness in life being related to one’s own life narrative. I am curious about the connection between these ideas: individual antifragility, personal life narrative, and the resultant influence of individual experiences on the arc of history for nations, particularly as I write on this on Memorial Day.

My grandfather, Jerry Flynn, was a US Marine who fought in the Pacific Theatre of World War II. As an American, and Jerry’s grandson, I am proud of The Greatest Generation. The events in Normandy, Guadalcanal, and Iwo Jima, collectively, changed the course of history, and the world benefited as a result. Thousands died on Iwo Jima; Tens-of-thousands were injured. Just one part of my grandfather’s life narrative is the story of victory over the Axis powers.

I remember occasions as a boy, sitting on my grandfather’s couch in Saddle Brook, NJ, listening to his WWII stories. Inevitably, the conversations were initiated by him, rolling up a shirt-sleeve to reveal his devil dog tattoo. Then, he would share stories about experiences from basic training, where he earned high marks for his proficiency with a bayonet. Eventually, the stories would lead to my grandfather crying and sharing accounts of civilian deaths and the horrors of war. I don’t know how one measures the extent of such personal turmoil across a cohort and it’s influence on a society. I know they left scars in him, though; A sacrifice most of us can’t relate to.

Michael Lewis wrote his book about a major influence in his life: Coach Fitz. About his coach, he wrote the following:

We listened to the man because he had something to tell us, and us alone. Not how to play baseball, though he did that better than anyone. Not how to win, though winning was wonderful. Not even how to sacrifice. He was teaching us something far more important: how to cope with the two greatest enemies of a well-lived life, fear and failure. To make the lesson stick, he made sure we encountered enough of both. What he knew – and I’m not sure he’d ever consciously thought it, but he knew it all the same – was that we’d never conquer the weaknesses within ourselves. We’d never drive the worst of ourselves away for good. We’d never win. The only glory to be had would be in the quality of the struggle.

Coach: Lessons on the Game of Life, Michael Lewis

We all have our own struggles in the lives we lead; Some are borne out on battlefields, others on baseball fields. Some battles rage internally within our own subconcious. I am hopeful, as we choose to frame our own narratives, that we can connect our experiences, particularly the struggles, with a greater purpose in the context of the history unfolding around us. On this Memorial Day, we should reflect on the sacrifices made by our military; Their sacrifices are the foreward of our own stories. We owe them a debt of gratitude for their own lives well lived, and satisfaction is best made through our own struggles to expand our capacity for love, courage, perseverance, forgiveness, originality, wisdom, interpersonal skills and giftedness.

Memorial Day is a good day for gratitude and reflection on the benefits of positive psychology.

My 42nd Birthday | May 23, 2020

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